WHAT'S IN A NAME: Revisiting that Question 10 Years Later

Ten years ago, I wrote this blog about my alter-ego, my other persona; what was - and still is - my other name in the skating world. I had cause to revisit this last week at the US National Figure Skating Championships in Detroit. It got me thinking.

Skate to Eliminate Cancer at
Campus Martius Park, Detroit

As you know, my son is no longer competing. However, he had a lot to do, both on and off the ice, since Detroit has been his home-away-from-home for 10 years now. When I couldn't be with him, I found myself watching him on the Jumbotron, at the Ice Desk, and also on the ice during Opening and Closing Ceremonies, as well as at a Scott Hamilton "Skate to Eliminate Cancer" event held outdoors at Campus Martius park in the heart of downtown. I went to Nationals, not only to spend a little bit of time with him, but to be with my skating friends for our annual "family reunion." 

So, after all these years, and all but one Nationals since 2003, I'm fairly well-known around the concourse, in restaurants, and sometimes in the ladies room lines. However in our skating world, I'm not always known as Allison Scott, the now-retired PR professional, blogger, US Figure Skating volunteer for Friends of Figure Skating and Memorial Fund events and 29 year skate parent. In this circle of friends and fans, I still take on my other identity. Like Clark Kent goes into a phone booth, turns around twice and comes out dressed as Superman ready to take on the world, I walk into an arena, turn around twice(usually because I've immediately lost the people I came in with) and become "Jeremy's mom." People I've known for years often times can't remember my given name. I get hugs and the first question is "How's your son? Is he here?" The second thing is usually an enthusiastic - and occasionally awkward - introduction to friends. "I'd like you to meet my friend Jeremy's mom." 
No joke. 
I then have to say something like, "Hi, I'm Allison Scott. So nice to meet you." 

I bring this up because I have been around a long time, and I have had a fulfilling professional career in public relations. But  what concerns me is that I see so many parents, whether they work outside or as a stay-at-home parent, lose their own identity along the way in this sport. It's always wonderful to be identified with your child, and that recognition as a parent of your skater is -hopefully - positive. But don't let it be the only thing that defines you. 

There is a saying by Horace Greeley that goes, "Fame is a vapor, popularity is an accident, riches take wings. Only one thing endures and that is character."  

Make sure you remember who you are. Your kids will always remember who you are.

Pentimento, Kintsugi and The Art of Figure Skating

I am a huge fan of CBS Sunday Morning. I have been watching it for decades. I've found their stories wonderfully informative, entertaining and thought-provoking. This morning, however, watching a piece by Faith Salie on "How Art Can Help Shape Your New Year's Resolutions," I had an epiphany, of sorts. 

First, let me say that I have a mostly-unused university minor in art history. I say "unused" the same way I say "algebra." While I served as a trustee of our Fine Arts Center with great reverence and pride for three years, it required me to use my knowledge of art about as much as I use algebra.

Anyway, in her piece on New Year's Resolutions, Ms. Salie used art to make a very good point; one that was not lost on me as I start to pack my bags and get ready to head to San Jose for the U.S. National Figure Skating Championships where our new Olympic Team will be named. From the depths of my schooling, Ms. Salie reminded me about two of my favorite things in the art world: Pentimento and Kintsugi. 

A Matisse drawing with erasure marks.

CBS NEWS

Using her words, here is the definition of Pentimento:

"This past year, I learned two life-changing ideas from the world of art.One is "pentimento," which I first encountered when I saw a drawing by the artist Henri Matisse. 

As I got closer, I could see that Matisse had sketched over and over and didn't entirely erase his scribbles.

A friend explained this is called pentimento, which is Italian for "repent" -- to regret, to change your mind. Matisse, a master, left his stumbles for us to see, and the ghosts of his mistakes inspire us to strive not for perfection, but for creation."

Mind blown. A master left his stumbles for us to see, and the ghosts of his mistakes inspire us to strive not for perfection, but for creation. Hmm..

Then there was this from Ms. Salie on Kintsugi:

Kintsugi -
filling in a ceramic's cracks with gold.
C

BS NEWS

"The other notion is "kintsugi," which is the Japanese method of repairing broken ceramics with gold.

The idea is that the cracks of something are part of its history and should be kept visible, even shiny! It's the art of embracing damage while making something whole.

An object becomes more beautiful because of its flaws." 

Wait. What? Repair something broken with gold, embracing the damage while keeping it visible, and even shiny because the flaws are beautiful? 

Ms. Salie continued her piece with this observation: 

"What if we consider kintsugi and pentimento in our New Year's resolutions? The word itself, "re-solution," suggests we return to our shortcomings, chronically trying to solve ourselves again and again." 

Without even knowing it, Faith Salie just summed up everything about figure skating. The fact that only three men, three women, three dance teams and one pairs team - a GRAND TOTAL OF FOURTEEN ATHLETES - will represent our country at the XXIII Winter Olympic Games just mere weeks from now is important, but not totally the point. 

After San Jose, there will be many who will feel imperfect, cracked, flawed or perhaps broken - either in their own minds, or made to feel so by those around them - because they were not "perfect." It will take awhile for them to look at what they did, the hours they trained and the art they presented to realize that the gold they may not have collected this time, on this frozen canvas, does not mean that what they did to get there should be dismissed or discarded. Whether they  choose to continue to create, or move to another discipline in life, make no mistake about this one very important thing: What each one left us with was their personal form of art. The gold may not have been there for the crowds to see atop the podium, but it was - and will be - forever in their hearts. Despite critics; despite the crowd, these artist-athletes were chosen to exhibit their works because they earned their place in the grand gallery of San Jose. They may have left flaws for us to see, but in doing so they presented heart.  

"But we'll never be perfect, so perhaps our re-solutions can involve being humble enough to shed light on our cracks -- and brave enough to repair them visibly. Maybe that's a kind of time travel in which we make peace with past and future at the same time."

Words  for all of us to consider, to live by, and to use as part of our re-solution heading into San Jose, Ms. Salie. Thank you for helping bring clarity to our flaws. Happy New Year. 

Advice to the Lutzlorn and Things I Won't Miss at U.S. Figure Skating Championships 2018 This Olympic Year

I have been spending a lot of time in the role that seems to suit me - being a small, green and war-weary trooper who everyone seems to think offers sage advice. I'm not quite sure how I achieved such revered status and respect. I don't seem to get it from within my four walls (which are appropriately decked out with lush padding), so I'll just go with it out there in cyberspace. I guess that, along the way, I somehow earned my scars and stripes.

Which brings me to my week. 

I have been in contact with no less than three skating parents who, if their ridiculously talented kids do what we know they will in San Jose next week, will be faced with the task of summiting  Mount Olympus for the first time. 

There are so many questions; so many financial concerns; so much fear and trepidation surrounding:

• How do I get there
• Where do I stay
• How do I pay
• Can I cut costs
• Will I see my skater
• Should I get tickets
• Is it safe
• I don't speak the language
• Can I drink the water
• What if I get sick

(and so on, and so on, and shoobee doobee doo)

I guess because I'm old and green, I'm supposed to know. 

So, I've been trying to answer all the questions and allay the trepidation. I've been  networking my  parent friends with my legion of wonderful Korean friends who have been there for us since 2008 when they discovered my skater at the Grand Prix Final. I cannot tell you how truly special these girls - now women - are to me. Actually, they are way

beyond special; they are part of my worldwide extended family that spans many continents, countries and cities. I have learned so much from all them over the years. The laughs and the stories we share are some of my most treasured memories. When I put out a message on Facebook for help, my Korean family answered the call immediately. I am so grateful.They jumped in with lodging suggestions, offers of assistance in Seoul and at the Games; transportation ideas. I had an instant South Korean travel and guide agency at the ready. How special is that to have those kind of friends halfway around the world with a 15 hour time difference. They were answering me in real time. I'm convinced they don't sleep, but then neither do I, and I adore them!

Which leads me to the second part of this blog. 

Here are the things I won't miss as I wing my way west to San Jose on Thursday and prepare myself to cheer on our athletes: 

• I won't miss any event after I arrive for which I am gratefully ticketed
• I won't miss another opportunity to sit in the Lutz corner (force of habit)
• I won't miss saying hi and hugging every skater, judge and coach I know
• I won't miss hanging with my Tweeps and Facebook friends because they are special
• I won't miss attending the Hall of Fame party
• I won't miss helping out at Friends of Figure Skating brunch
• I won't miss, as a Gold Sponsor of Destination PyeongChang, the Olympic Team Sendoff
• I won't miss seeing my son because we both know how important it is to be there to support the next generation of gladiators who will glide into the most breathtaking experience of their lives with one of the greatest responsibilities they have ever shouldered - that of representing our country with the best they have to offer as athletes, no matter what the outcome
  

The last thing I won't miss is what my competitor parent friends are going though now: The sick-to-your-stomach feeling of knowing, and not knowing, that all your love, support, time, money and life has come down to a few moments on a frozen surface in the U.S. that could lead to another frozen surface half a world away and in front of a worldwide audience. 

Being excited, scared and so incredibly proud thinking that you could see your kid march into that stadium wearing the mantel of Olympic Athlete - that is truly priceless.

Jeremy Abbott taking photos during Opening Ceremonies in Sochi

While I will miss being in PyeongChang and being with my other family, I won't miss that feeling of being a competitor's mom at all. I will revel in my memories of Vancouver and Sochi while I cheer for all those who represent us proudly and so well.

It's not easy being green..either from nausea, or from being Yoda.
See you in San Jose.


(This blog is dedicated to our Team Leader in Sochi, Kathy Slack. May you smile down on all of us. We miss you terribly.)